There’s a Christmas movie where the main character, a young boy, has just gotten his desired present – a Red Ryder BB gun – and in his haste to take out the imaginary bandits, he shoots a paper target taped to a metal sign. The BB ricocheted and hits his glasses. Fearing the wrath of his father and the “See, I told you so…” of his mother, he concocted a story that he was shooting icicles off the roof and one hit him in the eye. His mother, apparently willing to believe his story, adds “those icicles can be dangerous, you’re lucky it didn’t put your eye out…” There is a profound but simple lesson and warning within her simple statement: beware of growing icicles.
Icicles do not start off large, but start with a single drop of water that freezes. Under the right conditions, freezing temperature and more water, they will begin to grow larger and larger. When I was still in the military, I remember one February where I and a few others from the office I worked in had been tasked to go outside and break off the icicles that were hanging off the fire escape to prevent them from falling and hurting someone below. Just as growing icicles can grow to become dangerous, we can foster growing icicles within our heart. Just as an icicle starts as a drop of water, an unkind word or deed done is all it takes to begin the process within our hearts. Once that seed is planted and it takes root, it begins to grow. There’s a warning about this found within the Bible: Happy is the man that feareth alway: but he that hardeneth his heart shall fall into mischief (Proverbs 28:14). When we allow our hurt feelings to dominate our spiritual life we essentially put our fleshly nature ahead of the Lord. This is one of the many reasons that the Lord warned us during His earthly ministry: No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon (Matthew 6:24).
We’ve all had someone at church or within our family, someone who we know is a Christian, say something or do something that causes us to hurt. Oftentimes, it is unintentional and no harm was ever meant. Instead of talking to the other person, we will often bury the hurt for any number of reasons; maybe it is because we are ashamed we were hurt so easily, maybe we don’t want to admit that the person actually hurt us, or maybe we think we are keeping the peace. Whatever the reason may be, we forget the advice given by the apostle Paul, Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath (Ephesians 4:26). When we think about wrath, most of us think of someone having an intense anger; however, there are times that anger is driven by hurt feelings. I know that there have been times I decided not to follow Paul’s advice and before I knew it, my hurt feelings, the anger, and even confusion over the entire situation began impacting my walk with the Lord. Soon, things that I once found comfort and joy in didn’t appeal to me. I was allowing the growing icicles to gain strength and size.
It is hard to appreciate the blessings and joy that the Lord brings into our lives when we have allowed our love of the Lord to be overcome with hurt and sorrow. We begin to question the motives of those who do try to reach out to us. We lash out at the smallest gesture of concern or kindness, often accusing them of either not understanding what we are feeling or being less than sincere in their efforts. It becomes easy to hide from others and to become spiritually cold, bitter, and shut off from others as the icicles begin to grow larger. I believe this is exactly what David was experiencing when he wrote, Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. T0 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit (Psalms 51:7-12) . David has emotionally reached the stage where he realizes what is going on and is asking the Lord to help him to overcome the hardening of his heart. He wants to be restored to the place where he was truly joyful in his salvation.
Allowing our hearts to become hardened is actually harboring sin. As I look back at the times I had allowed my heart to grow cold, I now think of the admonition of the apostle Paul, This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind, Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart (Ephesians 4:17-18). As Christians, we shouldn’t harbor ill feelings the way we did before we knew the Lord Jesus as our personal savior. We shouldn’t allow ourselves to be filled with coldness and bitterness simply to find ourselves alienated from the Lord because we are unwilling to forgive someone else because they have wronged us. During his earthly ministry, Jesus even warned But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses (Mark 11:26). When we hold onto our bitterness and our hurt feelings, we place a wall between ourselves and the Lord. It does not change that we are a child of God, but it does prevent us from being in a place of blessing.
The question becomes how should I handle this hurt caused by someone else and the answer is found in scripture. The apostle Paul wrote Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law. And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed. The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light. Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying. But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof (Romans 13:10-14). The first step is ours – we must show the love of Christ towards others, even those who we believed have wronged us.
There is no excuse or justification for us to ever allow our hearts to become bitter and hardened. Paul ends the passage by telling us to put on Christ and don’t give a place to the flesh. Don’t give in to the temptation to grow bitter. Don’t give in to the temptation to let the hurt fester. Follow the model of Christ: Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do… (Luke 23:34). It is the opposite of what the flesh wants to do. It is the opposite of what the world teaches. It is why Paul wrote, If so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus: That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness (Ephesians 4:21-24).
