Category Archives: My Walk

Blog entries in this category are my own personal reflections, experiences, and growth.

Not perfect but still learning

Posted on July 25, 2016 by | Comments Off on Not perfect but still learning

not perfectNot perfect but still learning is a statement that defines my walk with the Lord. I’m under no false belief that since I became a Christian in 2006 that somehow I am perfect. Certainly, I am not the same person I was before I received Jesus’ free gift of salvation. I am also not the person I will be when I am in Heaven with my Lord and Savior, Jesus. What I am is a sinner saved by grace who is learning about my relationship with God. I am still learning my place within the family, and my place within the local church.

Following the leading of the Holy Spirit

I’m not one who lives for the spotlight and am quite content to be behind the scenes. A couple of months back, I was asked to lead the Sunday School introduction. Within the Salvation Army, this is commonly called prelims or preliminaries. As I began to pray about what the Lord would have me do, the idea hit me.  I would create a character that really doesn’t care what others think of him. He would be goofy, strong-minded, but in love with his Lord and Savior. So, with a name suggestion from my father-in-law, Professor Bib Lical was born. Since then, he has become a much-loved character by both adults and children. He uses science and the scientific method to show the nature of our faith, the wonders of creation, and the grace of God.

For some reason, this character, in spite of his funny appearance, clumsy manners, and really bad accent, has a way of getting to the heart of what the Holy Spirit leads him to say. As I’m delivering the preliminary thought, I often watch the faces of old and young as the message the Holy Spirit is leading me to share is heard by all. Then there are times, as it was this past Sunday, where I feel that the Holy Spirit is speaking through him directly to me as if I am the only person in the room.

A teaching moment by the Holy Spirit to me

This past week the Lord laid on my heart to illustrate how many of us approach prayer. I began with the familiar verse, Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God (Philippians 4:6). After having this verse read by a member of the congregation, I put some flower seeds in the hand of my assistant. I asked them to plant the seeds, then ask the seeds to grow. When that didn’t work, I asked the young man to yell at the seeds. Much to the laughs and giggles of everyone in the room, the seeds never sprouted and we didn’t see blooms.

We then shared the next verse, But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking (Matthew 6:7). I asked the assistant then to beg the seeds – five times – using the same words each time. Yes, it was funny. Some of the young people laughed. But it was at this point the Holy Spirit began working directly within my heart.

At the point of life I am at, I still have issues with worry. Last October, as I have previously shared, I surrendered to the Lord’s call on my life and am working towards entering the full-time ministry within the Salvation Army. It is a long process and while I do pray each day that the Lord will bring me to the point where I am actively serving His will, I still worry. I worry that I won’t be good enough. I worry that I won’t make it through the application process. I worry that my past will hold me back. I worry that I won’t be able to serve. I also worry that I will be rejected by those who makes the decisions as to whom is allowed to attend the required training.

Yet, in the middle of all this worry and fear, I was in front of people teaching what the Lord laid on my heart – “be careful for nothing…” in other words, God tells all of us not to be anxious – and as I was sharing this with those who were there, He was reminding me as well. I, too, needed to hear His message not to worry, to have faith, and to put my trust in Him.

God’s message is always common sense

I ended this particular lesson this last Sunday with the verse, I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry (Psalms 40:1). Since yesterday, I’ve really thought about the lessons the Lord taught me about my own prayer life. Oh, it is so easy to pray about something and then worry about it. Yet the Bible tells us that God wants us to pray about whatever is on our heart. We are then to adopt an attitude of thanksgiving, believing that God will answer our prayer: Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving (Colossians 4:2). There are countless verses where Jesus tells us that God knows our needs, we are more valuable than sparrows, and we need to have faith. Yet, for many of us, we come to the Lord filled with worry and doubts.

We come to our prayer time filled with expectations of unfulfilled prayers and doubts. We lift our voices to the Lord without an attitude of thanks or faith that He will answer. We let our doubts and fears get the better of us. We effectively shut down our prayer life and wonder why we don’t hear from God. We wonder why He doesn’t answer our prayers. But when we pray, we do everything the opposite of the way the Bible instructs us to do. So, as I begin this week, I’m asking the Lord to help me develop a new attitude of prayer; one that is more according to the will of God than filled with worry and doubt. 

 

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Following Jesus wherever He leads

Posted on June 27, 2016 by | Comments Off on Following Jesus wherever He leads

following JesusFollowing Jesus wherever He leads is often a journey that is easier to discuss than to simply begin in complete obedience. This past October (2015), I made a decision that was not easy to make. Since 2012, I have been an active member of a local Baptist church and had a variety of roles. I had the privilege of serving as a trustee, a Sunday school teacher, a Christian discipleship mentor, song and worship leader, and even operated a small printing ministry, and video recording and editing of the various services for the church’s YouTube channel. I was active in the various ministries of the church but had struggled with the ministry the Lord had laid on my heart. Starting in November of 2012, the Lord began laying a burden on my heart that I could no longer ignore – the small and struggling congregation.

Following Jesus: the first steps are the most difficult

There’s a hymn that immediately comes to my mind. It’s chorus goes, “footprints of Jesus that makes the pathway glow; we will follow the steps of Jesus where’er they go” (full text of the song available here). It’s an easy song to sing; it is a much harder thing to actually do. All through the gospels we see people who came to Jesus but for some reason, when it came to following Him, they were simply unable or unwilling to let go of what they understood and were comfortable with what following Jesus would require them to do.

I think of the passage in Matthew, And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. But Jesus said unto him, Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead (Matthew 8:21-22) and the one found in Mark, Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me. And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved: for he had great possessions (Mark 10:21-22). In both cases, these men were willing to follow Jesus until they realized the personal sacrifice that would be required. Both men decided the cost was too great. Both men walked away.

Since 2012, when the Lord began working on my heart, I knew that He had a purpose for my life and a specific way He wanted me to serve Him. What the question came down to was I willing to step out on faith and accept the work that Jesus set before me? I could either be obedient or I could stay where I was – which would be continued disobedience. For a while, I was willing to stay in disobedience and even congratulated myself for “working” on the calling through my efforts to meet the needs of the church we were already attending. In the process, we began a printing ministry, became the administrators for the church’s Facebook page and web page, and began filming the Adult Sunday School and a.m. service for YouTube and DVDs for shut ins, plus many smaller ongoing projects. 

Being busy is not the same as being obedient

Yes, we were busy, and for a while, I believed the Lord would be pleased with our best efforts. Many people, myself included, make the mistake of thinking that just because we are busy doing things at the church, then we must be serving the Lord. One of the ways the Lord has taught me about my relationship with Him is by the use of my relationship with my daughter. A while back ago, she wanted to help me do chores; instead of putting the pillows back on the couch as I had asked, she went into the bathroom and began to reorganize the items in the sink cabinet. Yes, she was busy, but she wasn’t helping me accomplish the goals for the day that I had set out. I remember thinking to myself, this is how the Lord must feel about what I am doing. Yes, we were extremely busy at the church but it wasn’t the right kind of busy. Our efforts were simply getting in the Lord’s way.

By early 2015, I had reached the point in my life where I could no longer just sit by in comfort and in continued disobedience. I began praying that the Lord would make it painfully obvious what He wanted me to do and that I was ready to do whatever it was He had for me to do. It was hard, beginning in October of 2015, to start the process of preparing to change from one church to another, to fully surrender to the full-time ministry, to leave friends behind at one church as we strive to be faithful to the calling placed in front of us by the Lord. It hasn’t been without some pain. There have been some earthly costs.  We have lost some friends along the way.

Following Jesus is an ongoing process

While most of this post has been about following the calling of Jesus into a specific ministry, there are other ways we follow Jesus. Recently, the Lord laid on my heart to purge my CD collection and as a result, nearly 14 inches of CDs were taken and sold to a used CD shop. Did I like the music? Yes. Was keeping those CDs more important than my obedience to Jesus? No. If I had kept the CDs then I would have allowed things – possessions that I cannot take to Heaven – become more important than following Jesus. Everything in life boils down to a simple and child-like choice: is it bringing us closer to the Lord or is it pushing us further away. I think at times we have a tendency to make things more complicated than absolutely necessary.

Jesus encourages all who will listen, Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 18:4), and Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein (Mark 10:15). As I began to seriously study what these verses were saying, I was again reminded of my interactions with my young daughter. She will come to me and ask me the same questions every child asks, “why do plants have flowers” and while she is looking for an answer, she’s not wanting the scientific explanation complete with chemical formulas. She just wants to know why on the level as a child. It is how she can understand and it is all her young mind can handle. When we set to follow after Jesus, we have to have the mindset to see the decisions that must be made on the same, simple terms. It is either going to bring us closer to Jesus or it will keep us separated from His complete and perfect will for us. And once we have made our decision, follow through with it to the best of our ability and daily seek His help to do it.

 

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Posted in Journey in the Salvation Army, My Walk, Our place within the local church, Our relationship with God

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Are you ready for the final exam?

Posted on April 27, 2016 by | Comments Off on Are you ready for the final exam?

final examAt the community college where I work, this week is the last week of coursework. Next week is final exam week – the week dreaded by both college student and instructor alike. For the instructor, it means a lot of time spent grading exams and final projects, computing grades, and all the other festivities that goes along with the end of a semester. For the student, there’s the stress of preparing for exams in the classes taken, final projects that must be done, then the anxiety of waiting for the posting of final grades. For many students, the fear of this anxiety drives them to do the best they can all semester. For others, they are unconcerned until the last week of coursework. At that point, they will begin to ask for extra credit, or to turn in missed assignments – all to keep them from failing the course.

The final exam of life

Until recently I never realized the similarities in lessons of a common, everyday occurrence of a college semester and life and the many applications that can be made. The Bible tells us, And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment: So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation (Hebrews 9:27-28). This passage, of which so many people focus on the first verse (verse 27), explains the greatest reward for passing the final exam – salvation. As we live our life, we do not have to wait until the end of our life – the end of the semester – to know if we’ve passed. Once we have received Jesus as our personal Savior we’ve already done what is necessary to pass life’s final exam. But this is only just the beginning of our journey through life’s semester.

I’ve taught at the college level since May of 2004. In the last seven years I have noticed something about the college student, from the instructor’s point of view, that really has stood out to me. Once a student realizes they’ve already passed the course, their attitude changes. They begin to enjoy the course, begin to take part more in the discussions, and will even come to my office during office hours to just sit and talk. They continue to work hard but there’s an observable enjoyment in their attitude. Then there are the other students that aren’t passing the course. A few honestly have no idea they are failing but the majority who are – know they are. Then at the last week – before the final exam – they become concerned about how to do just enough to pass the course; sometimes they will be able to pass and other times they can’t. Unfortunately there are those who simply never care about the course and fail. I am sure that by now, you can see the similarities in how we face life.

Preparing for the final exam

As I was grading final papers earlier this morning I began to realize that many people approach life the exact way students approach their college courses. Now make no mistake about this, I am not talking about a works-based salvation. College courses are performance based and are the results of the quality of work done by the student. This does play a role in my analogy and I will explain how later in this post. But for now, it is the mindset of the college student that I would like to focus. Students approach any college course with three basic mindsets: “Oh I hate this subject”; “I will survive this course somehow”; and “I can do this.”  On the first day of class I give each student a copy of the syllabus and we spend the first meeting simply reviewing all the parts of the syllabus so that every student will know and understand what is expected of them. Much the same is done when we first hear the gospel message of Jesus the first time. Just as it is hard to believe the syllabus is the road map to an A in the course, it is just as hard for many to believe that all we have to do is to receive Jesus as our Savior and King. But unlike the college class, all the work has already been done! 

For the believer, our final exam comes when we stand before the throne of Jesus and He rewards us for what we have done in His name. There’s a parable taught by Jesus where he talks about servants whose master left on a journey and gave the three servants talents to use while he was away. The servants were never told when their master would return, but all knew he would return some day. Each man was given a number of talents based on their demonstrated abilities and dependability. As you may recall, two of the servants did as much as they could and increased what the master had given them. These servants are like the college student that fully understands the syllabus, then realizes they can pass the class. From that point forward, they do what they are expected to do, they are determined to excel, and they enjoy the course. The final exam doesn’t bother them in the least because they know they have already passed the course!

Then there is the other servant. He, too, heard the master’s instructions but for some reason, just simply didn’t want to do what the master had for him. Instead of seeing his master as being compassionate, knowing his abilities, and calling him to greater things in life, the Bible tells us: Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed: And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine (Matthew 25:24-25). This passage can be used in a variety of applications but in this instance, I believe there is another application. Like so many college students, this servant saw what the master was asking him to do as being unreasonable, beyond his abilities, and instead of asking questions, getting confirmation of what was expected, he simply excused his inaction by blaming the master.

Continued on the next page.

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Posted in Christian Living, My Walk, Off the cuff

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