Category Archives: My Walk

Blog entries in this category are my own personal reflections, experiences, and growth.

Depression and faith: shared from the heart

depression and faithDepression and faith are in direct opposition to each other. Like many people, I struggle with depression and in the past, there have been times when it has gotten the best of me. We all have experienced family, friends, and even pastors make comments that are well-meaning but ill-received. I’m not writing this as psychological advice or for medical treatment purposes, but as a Christian man simply sharing what the Lord has laid upon my heart. For the last couple of days I have been struggling on how to share what the Lord has laid on my heart because I do understand how hurtful even some of the best intended advice can be when you’re dealing with depression. I’d like to share what I have learned about the real spiritual battle behind depression.

Defining depression and the medical definition

According to the website maintained by the National Institute of Mental Health, depression is defined as:

Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person’s thoughts, behavior, feelings and sense of well-being. People with depressed mood can feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable, ashamed or restless. They may lose interest in activities that were once pleasurable, experience overeating or loss of appetite, have problems concentrating, remembering details or making decisions, and may contemplate, attempt or commit suicide. Insomnia, excessive sleeping, fatigue, aches, pains, digestive problems or reduced energy may also be present. (NIMH – Depression)

Everyone has, at some time or another, suffered from depression. For many, it may be a temporary state that was the result of a single experience, event, or other trigger. For some, depression is a life-long battle. For nearly a century, there have been a variety of treatments used that includes everything from medications to electroshock therapy. Some are able to talk about their depression with others while some seem to be buried underneath it. As a Christian, the struggle becomes compounded when we hear from other Christians the platitudes of “it will pass” and “you’ll be ok” because at the depths of depression, it doesn’t feel temporary nor does it feel we will ever be the same again. In my own walk, I’ve struggled with depression and have tried to understand the relationship between depression and faith.

Whether it’s caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain or is the result of PTSD, depression and the extent of its effects differ from person to person. Some people have seasonal depression, others have severe chronic depression, and still others will slip into and out of depression on what seems like a cyclic pattern. With all this said, depression is a powerful emotion that can be managed through our faith in the Lord.

Biblical guidance to a better outlook

As regular readers know, 2006 was a major turning point in my life. I quit running and decided to fully accept Jesus as my personal savior and Lord. I also decided to study the Bible as seriously as I was studying the materials for my graduate degree. Like many people, I didn’t know what to expect nor did I realize how applicable the Bible is in today’s world. I was not raised in a Christian family and because of the various public schools, was a bit of a skeptic. What I began to realize was that the Bible is relevant and the advice contained within its scriptures is life-changing. Christianity is not merely a religion but an all-encompassing philosophy. Once I began to understand and accept that as fact, I really began to understand the beauty of the Lord’s advice.

During his earthly ministry, Jesus told his disciples, These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world (John 16:33). About three weeks ago, while facing depression, I came across that verse during my morning reading of the Bible.  On that particular day I was feeling incredibly low, and as I read that verse I began to see it from a different perspective. For those who suffer with depression, it can be a time of great tribulation – and here’s my Lord and Savior telling me that not only does He want me to have peace but be of good cheer. Jesus overcame the battle with depression; when He overcame the world, He overcame everything that the world could throw at Him, including depression.

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An answer to an email: Giving to the Lord

givingGiving to the Lord has been an issue for many Christians. Often confused by the ridicule of the lost world and those Christians who have made giving to the Lord a part of some legalistic doctrine, it has become a subject that makes many feel uncomfortable. This morning, as I was going through my emails, I had someone send me an email asking what I believe about giving to the Lord.  Now, in all honesty, I have never been to seminary. I have come to the understanding of giving, tithes, and offerings on my own personal Bible studies, from the writings of Charles Spurgeon, John Wesley, Andrew Bonar, and the sermons of a handful of other Christian leaders. I will also share that I always did not have this understanding of what giving means for the Christian.

We are saved by God’s grace

Before I share what I have come to understand about giving, it is important to understand what salvation means. The Bible records a conversation between Nicodemus and Jesus: Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother’s womb, and be born? (John 3:4). Jesus answered that question in the simplest way possible so that the meaning would be perfectly clear: Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.  Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again (John 3:5-7). Jesus also taught what is at the heart of man’s salvation: And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up: That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.  For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God (John 3:14-18).

Ssalvation is truly that simple as the Bible bears witness. Even the apostles understood the simplicity of the message taught by Jesus: the apostle Paul wrote, That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved (Romans 10:9) and For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God (Ephesians 2:8). We must come to the place where we realize that we, personally, are in need of a savior because of sin. On our own, we are sinners. The apostle Paul wrote, For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) and he is absolutely right. All it takes is to watch the evening news to see the condition of man’s heart. What are we saved from? We are saved from what the Bible calls the wrath of God. We are saved from final judgment through our faith in the shed blood of Jesus Christ; for He alone has made the atonement for our sins.

There are those that believe that there must be some great work or deed that also plays a part within salvation. Salvation is not dependent upon our works and too many times people get confused by the role of works in our faith. James wrote,  Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone. Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works (James 2:17-18). While they claim this proves the concept of works for salvation, they often neglect the rest of the passage: Was not Abraham our father justified by works, when he had offered Isaac his son upon the altar? Seest thou how faith wrought with his works, and by works was faith made perfect? And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God. Ye see then how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only (James 2:21-24). Throughout this chapter in James, he is teaching us a very important concept – our faith should cause within us a desire to do things for the Lord. We do them not as a part of our salvation but because of our salvation. He uses the teachings of Abraham; what allowed Abraham to offer his son, Issac, to the Lord upon the altar? His faith in God and his belief in God’s promise: And he said, I will certainly return unto thee according to the time of life; and, lo, Sarah thy wife shall have a son. And Sarah heard it in the tent door, which was behind him (Genesis 18:10) and  And the LORD said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do; Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? (Genesis 18: 17-18). By Abraham’s faith, knowing God would keep His promise, he knew that if he sacrificed Issac at the request of God, God would still make a provision to fulfill the promise given! It was this demonstration of Abraham’s faith in the Lord at work.

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What’s is holding you back?

RichardWear7827596853This morning as I was doing my daily reading of the Bible, this verse jumped up at me:  I will praise thee, O LORD, with my whole heart; I will shew forth all thy marvellous works (Psalms 9:1). As I continued to read the rest of the chapter, three questions kept coming to my mind: 1) What am I holding back from the Lord? 2) What is keeping me from praising Him with my whole heart? and 3) Why do I not share the blessings from the Lord with others? I’ve been a Christian since 2006 and have seen the Lord working within my life in some pretty amazing ways, yet in light of all three of the questions, I could not believe how difficult it was to honestly answer them.

What am I holding back from the Lord?

This is a simple and straight-forward question. What am I holding back from the Lord? It is fairly easy to start with the most obvious ones, such as praise, worship, and giving. But we must go deeper than those – what am I holding back? Many of us have a true friend that we share every aspect of our life with; for some this may be a spouse and for others, it may be a childhood friend. Remember the hurt feelings and shock you felt when you found out they held something back from you? Remember how you felt when you found out through someone else about it? If so, you can probably imagine how God feels when He knows we are holding things back from Him. There have been times where I have not had the faith in Him I should have. There are times I have not been as grateful for his mercy, grace, and blessings as I should have. There are times I know I needed to ask His forgiveness for sin, yet I could not bring myself to pray about it.

I think about conversations I have had with other Christians in the past who have told me they were surrendered completely to the Lord’s will. One even told me that he believed that the Lord was calling him into full-time ministry and he was willing to do whatever the Lord wanted him to do – except be a missionary. At the time we laughed it off, but now, with a fresh perspective, he was holding something back from the Lord. He was not completely surrendered. Can the Lord still use him? Absolutely, but he will never receive the joy that comes from serving the Lord as long as he is holding something back. I think of the exchange between Jesus and the rich young ruler as told by Luke: And a certain ruler asked him, saying, Good Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life? And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? none is good, save one, that is, God. Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother. And he said, All these have I kept from my youth up. Now when Jesus heard these things, he said unto him, Yet lackest thou one thing: sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me (Luke 18:18-22). To paraphrase this passage, Jesus was telling this young man that he had to be willing to surrender everything he owned and all that he was and all his personal power and prestige in order to follow after Jesus. He could not hold anything back.

What is keeping me from praising with my whole heart?

This is another question where it is easy to claim that I’m already doing this. In all honesty, I know that it’s not true. Just as I hold things back from the Lord, I also hold back my praise from Him. David wrote, And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee (Psalms 9:10). If we are His child, then we have every reason to praise Him with our whole heart. Through the Bible we have the testimony of God’s love for us and the proof of His great salvation offered to us. So if we have every reason to praise Him with our whole heart, why is it so difficult? Each one of us who have accepted Jesus as our Lord and personal Savior can think of at least a half-dozen things He has done: Sing praises to the LORD, which dwelleth in Zion: declare among the people his doings (Psalms 9:11).

As I honestly began to consider this question, the first thing that came to my mind is unconfessed sin. Unconfessed sin will separate us from the blessings and joy that Jesus brings. We feel conviction brought about by the Holy Spirit and and not repent of our sins and praise the Lord, we decide to hide ourselves from Him. The last thing we want to do when running from the Lord is to praise Him. We also are hesitant to praise the Lord with our whole hearts when we know things are not as they should be between us and someone else. We also find it hard to praise the Lord with our entire heart when we know He has set something before us and for whatever reason, we don’t do it. It’s hard to praise the Lord when we are not living fully in His will.

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