Category Archives: Relationships

Blogs in this category deal with relationships between ourselves and God, family members, other Christians, and the lost.

Three big temptations for the college student

college studentsI began teaching at the college level nearly thirteen years ago; it has been a learning experience for me. Not only have I learned a lot about my faith but I have also learned some important lessons about how to prepare my child for life on the college campus. There are real spiritual battles on the American college campus and far too many parents and pastors send college students off to face those battles unprepared for what awaits them and where they can go to get help. It isn’t because pastors and parents are not concerned about their college student, but because many are simply unaware of what is actually on the college campus.

 College students are bombarded by worldly temptation

A few years back while attending Townsend Bible Church in Newburg, Indiana, I actually had a parent ask me if all the college movies geared towards the older teen and young adult crowd were as bad as what it was like on campus. She even quoted me a very popular proverb that every pastor and almost every parent knows by heart, Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6). As she waited for my answer, she told me of another verse that often came to mind as she was raising her children, As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth (Psalms 127:4). She bragged about how since her children were young babies, she raised them in church, they attended Christian school, and the amount of time she spent training her future college student what the Bible said. At this point, I had been teaching college for about five years and asked her one question that brought her to tears: “what have you done to warn them about the giants they will face?”

I’ve seen even strong Christian college students fall into temptation and not have the strength to resist what the flesh desires. I cannot say enough about the hidden danger of peer pressure. Most parents and pastors only consider peer pressure and its effects on young and middle teenagers. Just because your child is now a college student does not mean the peer pressure has ended; in fact, it will be even stronger than it was during junior high and high school. No one ever wants to feel like an outsider looking in; no one ever wants to be treated as an outcast. Understanding this simple fact will help to understand the enormous strain placed on today’s college student, even if they are Christian and come from a strong Christian home. Not only will they face temptations but they will have real spiritual pressure and emotional pressure to give in. 

Most parents spend their time talking and teaching their child about sex, but they do not go far enough. It is not enough to tell them that God intends for them to stay sexually pure until marriage, but it is important to tell them from a practical and spiritual viewpoint why this is so important. Each semester I see the same cycle repeat itself: 1) young people equate sex and love, as the world has taught, 2) they are not emotionally, spiritually, or financially ready to handle the results of sex (not just potential pregnancy either), and 3) young people set out on a series of bad relationships centered around sex trying to find the “one” person they are supposed to be with. While this is the typical pattern for the lost, even the Christian college student will go through a similar cycle, but with a different one added to the mix: 3) the Christian feels dirty, tainted, and either repents of this destructive behavior, or 3) Christian feels dirty but is convinced that it is because they were “used” and need to find the right person who appreciates them. Those that chose the latter will often repeat this cycle until they are almost indistinguishable from the lost. Sadly, they do not repent until they experience a prodigal son moment. 

Yes, sex is that prevalent on the college campus; it will become even more so as many colleges are now adopting a co-ed approach dormitories. Each college has its activists handing out free condoms and guides to safe sex. Some colleges offer health seminars where alternative sexual health issues are taught. College fraternities and sororities have programs where although sexual experimentation is not formally promoted, the environment to allow for such creativity is very present. Campus entertainment, such as various international films shown as a means for teaching cultural awareness, often features lots of sex scenes and full frontal nudity. Anyone that stands up in protest is immediately labeled as being prudish and often become the target for ridicule by both college student and willing faculty members.

The use of drugs is also prevalent on most college campuses. A college student may not use marijuana, alcohol, or other drugs, but the probably know at least three to five students that do and may even know one person where they could get a hold of alcohol or drugs if they wanted to. Although many parents have done a good job of warning their children about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, they often neglect to teach them the spiritual aspect about why God does not want them to use mind-altering substances. When I first started my graduate assistant teaching, I had a young man in my class that came to me during office hours. He told me that he knew I was a Christian because he felt a certain peace when he was around me. He then proceeded to tell me that his father, grandfather, and great-grandfather had all been preachers within the Episcopal Methodist church. He then told me that he needed help getting off the illegal drugs he was using, but wanted to know if the Bible taught anything against drug usage because he had been told that God didn’t forbid it in the Bible.

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Studying the Bible: essential to spiritual health

studyingStudying the Bible is crucial to the spiritual health and happiness of any Christian. Studying the Bible serves as a way to enrich our faith in Jesus, teaches us about the Lord we serve, and even provides guidance directly from the Lord for our daily lives. Yet, many Christians neglect this important part of their faith. Within the writings of the apostle Paul, we are reminded of this crucial doctrine of our faith: Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth (2 Timothy 2:15). Throughout the Bible there is an unbroken teaching of the importance of studying God’s word for a variety of reasons. Within my heart, I honestly believe there are so many weak Christians because they do not understand a few basic key doctrines of our faith. As I was praying about what to share with this post, the Lord laid those very doctrines on my heart: Bible study, prayer, baptism, personal evangelism, giving, and the use of our gifts and talents. The first of these, Bible study, will be the first doctrinal issue we will discuss.

In all fairness, I didn’t always understand what the key concepts of my responsibility as a Christian were or even why they are important. It is easy to set the Bible down Sunday afternoon and not pick it up again until the next Sunday morning. During those times, my faith was weak and I was easily distracted by the desires and lusts of the flesh. It was not until I began studying the Bible as seriously as I did for my graduate coursework that I truly began to understand what it meant to be a Christian. One of the first verses I remember reading about the importance of personal Bible study is BETH. Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word (Psalms 119:9). Within this verse I began to notice a simple and powerful truth – if I really wanted to clean my life I have to study God’s word, the Bible. Within that same chapter, the qualifier – the “how” we will clean up our lives is provided, Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee (Psalms 199:11). True emotional and spiritual healing begins by reading and digesting the Bible. What David wrote in Psalms is what happens with us when we seriously begin to read the Bible. As what we read becomes more familiar to us, we will begin to be able to recall it. We will be able to apply it to our lives. 

Studying the Bible comes with great promises

Within the first chapter of Psalms, the Holy Spirit led David to write, Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper (Psalms 1:1-3). Studying the Bible is not only doctrinally important but also has a promise from God. The imagery of a tree planted by the river, bringing fruit, and having leaves that don’t wither provides us powerful encouragement from the Lord – He is promising that if we study the Bible we will not only be at peace with ourselves and with Him but we will live a life that will bear fruit. That fruit comes in many forms – we will be able to lead others to the Lord, we will see God’s word become manifest in our lives, and we will be able to avoid the things that appeal to our vanity which can tempt us to sin. The Lord promises, through the pen of David, that when we are in His will, we will prosper. What a great promise – and all based on our willingness to study the Bible!

Within the first verse of this post, Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth (2 Timothy 2:15), there is a promise that may not be recognized at first. Studying the Bible allows us to approach God unashamed! At some point in our lives, we have all had the feeling of embarrassment of being caught off guard – whether it was with a teacher in school or college or on the job. God is telling us, through the writing of the apostle Paul, that if we will study the Bible we will never have a cause to be ashamed of what we learn. The more we read the Bible, the easier it becomes to recall what we have read. It may not be a verse-by-verse memorization and exposition, but we will know what God’s view is on nearly everything we will encounter in life. We won’t need to feel ashamed of not fully understanding or not knowing how the Lord wants us to handle the issues of life.

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Depression and faith: shared from the heart

depression and faithDepression and faith are in direct opposition to each other. Like many people, I struggle with depression and in the past, there have been times when it has gotten the best of me. We all have experienced family, friends, and even pastors make comments that are well-meaning but ill-received. I’m not writing this as psychological advice or for medical treatment purposes, but as a Christian man simply sharing what the Lord has laid upon my heart. For the last couple of days I have been struggling on how to share what the Lord has laid on my heart because I do understand how hurtful even some of the best intended advice can be when you’re dealing with depression. I’d like to share what I have learned about the real spiritual battle behind depression.

Defining depression and the medical definition

According to the website maintained by the National Institute of Mental Health, depression is defined as:

Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person’s thoughts, behavior, feelings and sense of well-being. People with depressed mood can feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable, ashamed or restless. They may lose interest in activities that were once pleasurable, experience overeating or loss of appetite, have problems concentrating, remembering details or making decisions, and may contemplate, attempt or commit suicide. Insomnia, excessive sleeping, fatigue, aches, pains, digestive problems or reduced energy may also be present. (NIMH – Depression)

Everyone has, at some time or another, suffered from depression. For many, it may be a temporary state that was the result of a single experience, event, or other trigger. For some, depression is a life-long battle. For nearly a century, there have been a variety of treatments used that includes everything from medications to electroshock therapy. Some are able to talk about their depression with others while some seem to be buried underneath it. As a Christian, the struggle becomes compounded when we hear from other Christians the platitudes of “it will pass” and “you’ll be ok” because at the depths of depression, it doesn’t feel temporary nor does it feel we will ever be the same again. In my own walk, I’ve struggled with depression and have tried to understand the relationship between depression and faith.

Whether it’s caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain or is the result of PTSD, depression and the extent of its effects differ from person to person. Some people have seasonal depression, others have severe chronic depression, and still others will slip into and out of depression on what seems like a cyclic pattern. With all this said, depression is a powerful emotion that can be managed through our faith in the Lord.

Biblical guidance to a better outlook

As regular readers know, 2006 was a major turning point in my life. I quit running and decided to fully accept Jesus as my personal savior and Lord. I also decided to study the Bible as seriously as I was studying the materials for my graduate degree. Like many people, I didn’t know what to expect nor did I realize how applicable the Bible is in today’s world. I was not raised in a Christian family and because of the various public schools, was a bit of a skeptic. What I began to realize was that the Bible is relevant and the advice contained within its scriptures is life-changing. Christianity is not merely a religion but an all-encompassing philosophy. Once I began to understand and accept that as fact, I really began to understand the beauty of the Lord’s advice.

During his earthly ministry, Jesus told his disciples, These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world (John 16:33). About three weeks ago, while facing depression, I came across that verse during my morning reading of the Bible.  On that particular day I was feeling incredibly low, and as I read that verse I began to see it from a different perspective. For those who suffer with depression, it can be a time of great tribulation – and here’s my Lord and Savior telling me that not only does He want me to have peace but be of good cheer. Jesus overcame the battle with depression; when He overcame the world, He overcame everything that the world could throw at Him, including depression.

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