Category Archives: Relationships

Blogs in this category deal with relationships between ourselves and God, family members, other Christians, and the lost.

It is either right or wrong; there’s no grey area

right or wrongEvery situation and every decision we make boils down to one thing – it is either right or wrong. Sometimes it is difficult for humanity to accept this and we try to justify what we know to be a wrong decision by claiming what we face was somehow in a grey area in between both right and wrong. We will sometimes cry that others should not judge us by what we have done but by the intentions of our heart, believing that as long as our intentions were noble then it excuses our acting on the bad decisions we’ve made. A quick glance at human civilization, particularly what is happening in the West today, gives many examples of what happens when we begin to cloud the decision-making process with imaginative grey areas, a departure for biblical absolutes, and a lack of moral clarity.

Each situation has but two choices

Earlier in my life I bought into a lot of the humanistic philosophies that teach there are no absolute morals and no absolute right or wrong. I believed what I had been taught in public school that each person is free to assign their own personal value system based on what is best for them. In 1988, while attending college, I had an emotional experience with the Lord; I do not call it salvation because I was anything but saved – something that I have heard others refer to as being a pseudo-Christian. I bought into the worldly logic that even in Christianity, there were those grey areas where there simply was no guidance found in the Bible for situations faced by people in our modern society. There are many Christians today that not only believe this false teaching, but actually excuse their sins by claiming that God didn’t provide any guidance to them (I could literally do a number of posts revealing God’s will for the specific “grey areas” that I have heard people discuss within the last six months).

A study of the Bible shows the nature of the two choices we face with every situation: I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live (Deuteronomy 30:19) and No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon (Luke 16:13). Every situation we face in life boils down to us making a right or wrong decision. It has taken me a while to understand this teaching found all through the Bible. With God, there are no grey areas; there’s simply right or wrong. The prophet Isaiah was led by the Lord to write, For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD (Isaiah 55:8); it is easy to understand this once we get a good look at how we try to justify our failures and poor decisions and not to accept the simple truth that we made a wrong choice.

Right or wrong – a study in practice

A few days ago I was reading an article on CNN news about the ongoing social debates within our nation. The article was written about how the moral standards in America – what is considered as proper and inappropriate behavior – are rapidly changing. Issues such as abortion, alternative lifestyles, personal gender determination, gay and alternative marriages, and even euthanasia and right to life are being questioned. As I read the comments from those responding to the article, one thing became painfully clear – many wanted to blame God for the hardships in their lives. One female poster actually asked the question “where was God when I was planning my abortion?”  Again, the verse from Deuteronomy comes to mind: I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live (Deuteronomy 30:19). Is it really that simple? Yes, it is. Every decision we make comes down to a very finite point – either our decision will bring forth life or death. Life simply is in obedience to the Lord, death is simply the results of rebellion.

Without becoming bogged down within the topic of abortion, there are some startling truths about abortion that society ignores. Under the banner of women’s rights, society has created an excuse and solution for an age-old problem. Although advocate for abortion will say that it must be available for cases of incest, rape, and the preservation of the life of the mother, statistics available through the Department of Health and Human Services and Planned Parenthood actually tell a different story. According to statistics, there were 1.21 million abortions performed in the United States in 2014. Of those, less than 1% (actual percentage was 0.067% or 187) abortions were because of rape or incest. The three most common reasons for abortions performed in 2014 were 1) 37% – less than ideal relationship status or personal convenience; 2) 21% – inadequate finances; and 3) 21% – not ready for the responsibility of parenthood. When Christians and other religious groups point to personal responsibility and refraining from premarital sex to avoid pregnancy, the world lectures and sneers at the suggestion. Instead, abortion is seen as a more responsible choice for the modern woman. In the end, the choice of abortion boils down to a choice between life and death.

Right or wrong – it is our choice

A while back I was reading from a book that has the collected writings of Andrew Bonar, a member of the Puritan clergy from back in the early nineteenth century. One of the concepts he was teaching is that we are a product of our own choices. Much of what we see as our failures or our successes in life are really based on the decisions we made when God provided us with choices. When we begin to see our lives as the results of the choices we have made and not random happenings or even as God intervening in our lives, God’s grace becomes even so much more magnified in the life of the believer. Now it becomes increasingly important to follow the pleading and the calling of the Lord: Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool (Isaiah 1:18). It is both eye-opening and comforting at the same time to know that in the past, I made decisions based on my understanding but I do not have to continue to make those wrong decisions now. As a child of God, I am free to come and reason with the Lord, to seek His guidance and wisdom before I make my decision.

 Looking at my own life, I am where I am at because of the decisions – good and bad – that I made. There are also times in my life that I was simply shown mercy by the Lord in spite of my own short sightedness and stupidity. As recently as 2011, I have been impulsive in my decision-making and have not always sought the will of the Lord. The good thing is that I am a work in progress and God’s not finished with me.

Reach out and make a difference

How-To-ListenReach out and make a difference – it seems what so many more people need today is to have some one reach out to them and to show genuine compassion. In our high-tech world of smart phones, wifi, Facebook, and instant messaging, it seems as if more and more people are losing the ability to communicate and to interact with others on a more personal level. A while back ago, I read an article about some relationship trends developing as a result of technology. Dating relationships, engagements, and even marriages ending through text messages and even Facebook posts and not a personal and more private conversation between two people. As technology creates opportunities to share information , many people are being left emotionally dry, isolated, and alone.

And of some, have compassion…

Within the book of Jude there is a short verse that has begun to take on a new meaning for me: And of some have compassion, making a difference (Jude 22). There’s a lot of truth within this verse if we look beyond the words. We all have had times in our lives where someone showed us compassion and it was their selfless act that did make a difference in our life. Whether it was a heartache, a spiritual battle, an illness, or even just feeling a little down, we have all found ourselves lifted up by others – maybe a coworker, a family member, or a friend. Somebody felt the need to reach out and make a difference in our lives at that moment.

I often use the converse theory used in math to study Bible verses in my personal study. If we take the converse of this verse, it becomes: and most have no compassion, making no difference. Unfortunately, we all have also experienced the times in our life where there was no one that seemed to care. No one moved to show us compassion at a time when we felt that our circumstances would overwhelm us. As Christians, we knew at that time that God was with us but we also desired to have someone to put their arm around us and to comfort us as we faced our trials and difficulties alone. People we thought were friends and who cared simply were too busy with their own lives or simply didn’t notice or want to be bothered with what we were going through. In any case, what we needed was for someone to show us compassion and to desire to make a difference in our lives.

Jesus taught about compassion

Compassion towards others should be a part of our new nature in Jesus. We should now have a desire to reach out to others because of our love for the Lord. Jesus taught: Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:  For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:  Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?  Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me (Matthew 25:34-40). What Jesus was teaching in this passage was that compassion is a trait that defines the true believer. Those that did the things that Jesus mentioned, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, and visiting those in prison, were welcomed into His eternal presence. Jesus also plainly teaches: Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me. And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal (Matthew 25:44-46).

Compassion comes from people

We live in a modern society that has forgotten that regardless of what government programs or community organizations exist, there is no replacing God’s plan when it comes to how we treat others. While government social services agencies and organizations may be able to feed the body, they cannot save the soul. When Christians show compassion to others we are actually setting up an opportunity to share Jesus with others. Peter wrote: But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear (1 Peter 3:15) and when this is our attitude while we are being compassionate towards others, we stand ready to give an account of why we can selflessly give of ourselves. We can be as David wrote in Psalms, I will speak of thy testimonies also before kings, and will not be ashamed (Psalms 119:46) and what Paul wrote to the early Christians in Colossus, Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man (Colossians 3:16). When we reach out to others we are setting up opportunities to share in our faith. Others are more apt to listen to us because they will see it is our faith that compels us to reach out beyond ourselves and to show compassion to others.

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Approaching storms – are you ready?

PHOTO_13700605_148597_31058328_apI have always loved watching approaching storms. There’s something about the change in the smell of the air, the cloud formations, and even the slight breeze that I just love. I love the flash of lightning and the clap of thunder and simply sit in awe of the might of the storm. With all of humankind’s technology, we still have yet to master the storm much less understand all the mechanics surrounding one. I’m reminded of the story found in the gospel of Luke where Jesus disciples are panicking as the storm unleashes its fury on them: And they came to him, and awoke him, saying, Master, master, we perish. Then he arose, and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water: and they ceased, and there was a calm (Luke 8:24).

There are so many lessons we can learn in this one verse about the Lord and the disciples lack of understanding in who Jesus actually was. They saw Jesus heal the sick, raise the dead, and cast out devils, yet when it came to this storm, they pleaded for Jesus to save them. The previous verse, But as they sailed he fell asleep: and there came down a storm of wind on the lake; and they were filled with water, and were in jeopardy (Luke 8:23), tells us that Jesus was asleep in the boat, the same boat where the disciples were panicking. Just as the disciples knew who Jesus was, we have the benefit of knowing who Jesus is through the scriptures. Just as the disciples did, we also cry out in the  middle of our storms not fully realizing that Jesus is right there with us and realizing He will not allow us to succumb to the tempest we face. We can have peace in the middle of our storms if we take the time to prepare for the storms before they even begin to form.

A Christian emergency kit

As I began to think about what items we would need to bring together for our spiritual emergency kit, the first thing that crossed my mind was the Bible. It is God’s instruction book for life. Within its pages it has God’s guidance, not only for daily living, but God’s advice on how to handle any situation. As I have begun to mature and grow in my faith I become more dependent upon the wisdom contained in the Bible. God offers financial advice, advice on how to raise children, on what to look for in a mate, and everything else in between. The Bible is an everyday book; this makes it perfect for any spiritual emergency kit we put together. 

A strong prayer life is another thing we need to include in our kit. Prayer should not just be something we do our of vain repetition or right before we eat. We know that the prophet Daniel prayed multiple times a day: Now when Daniel knew that the writing was signed, he went into his house; and his windows being open in his chamber toward Jerusalem, he kneeled upon his knees three times a day, and prayed, and gave thanks before his God, as he did aforetime (Daniel 6:10). I will be willing to speculate that these three times of prayer were in addition to his mealtime prayers. Not only is prayer an important part of our daily life, it must be a part of how we handle the storms when they come. In my life there have been times I have watched the spiritual storm approach and instead of trusting in and praying to the Lord, I have tried to handle it on my own using my own understanding of the situation.

What I have learned is that when I do this, I am actually acting out my doubts in God’s ability to manage the situation. The prophet Isaiah was led by the Spirit of the Lord to write, But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint (Isaiah 40:31). When this verse is coupled with the teachings found in Proverbs, Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding (Proverbs 3:5), it becomes clear to me that two important tools Christians need to have in their emergency kit are patience and trust. Especially when you are a person who likes to have their hands on a project or like to be an active participant, it is hard to simply hold back and wait for the Lord to guide you. When I think back at my life, some of the worst spiritual storms I was in was because when the storm first started I didn’t wait on the Lord. I thought I could handle things on my own. It wasn’t until the waves were too high, the currents too strong that I cried out to the Lord. The Lord tells us simply to wait and trust. He promises to renew our strength and to see us safely through the storm. He tells us not to simply act on our own understanding because He knows we never have the full view of the storm as He does. 

When we are facing spiritual storms many of us have the tendency to isolate ourselves and not approaching others and asking for prayer and fellowship. It is difficult to remember the admonishment by the apostle Peter, Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world (1 Peter 5:8-9). Within this passage, we learn a couple of things about the spiritual storms we face. We learn that the Devil uses them to separate us from God’s love and joy. We also learn that other Christians, our brothers and sisters in the faith, also experience the same spiritual storms we go through. Even the apostle Paul wrote, Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God. But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin (Hebrews 3:12-13). When we are in the middle of our spiritual storm, we need to reach out to our brothers and sisters in the faith. When we see our brothers and sisters in the faith going through their own spiritual storm we need to embrace them, lift them up, and encourage them to continue in the Lord. 

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