Category Archives: Relationships

Blogs in this category deal with relationships between ourselves and God, family members, other Christians, and the lost.

Then there is the need to just – wait

Financial_Distress_Prayer15Although I hate to admit this, I am an impatient person.  With all of the technology of the modern age that is supposedly designed to save time and make daily life easier, I absolutely hate to wait.  Whether it is for the pot of coffee brewing, the pizza to be delivered, or even checking email, it bothers me when it takes longer than what I think it should.  To be honest, I think that there are more out there that are just as impatient as I am if they are totally honest with themselves.  We have grown accustomed to not having to wait and our modern society actually promotes the “I want it now” attitude.  Microwavable popcorn, downloadable movies and television shows, TV dinners, ATMs, and credit cards attest to our desire not to have to wait for what it is that we want.

Unfortunately, our desire to “have it now” isn’t confined to the comforts of modern society. All it takes is a brief look at where we are, as a society, to see the impact that our desire to “have it all now” has had.  Marriages in our nation are falling apart either because the couple raced to the altar without weighing the seriousness of the marriage commitment or rushing to divorce court to put an immediate end to the frustrations rather than working out our differences (I admit, I was guilty of rushing to the altar twice). Instead of waiting until marriage, many young folks unwisely rush into premarital sex; this leads to an increase in abortions or an increase of single parent households. Some are looking for the next great and easy thrill through the use of mind-altering drugs instead of seeking the natural high of overcoming a difficult challenge or mastering a new skill.  There are even those who seek death now as an immediate end to their problems and frustrations instead of taking the time to work through their problems and gain control of their lives.  Everywhere we go, we see evidence that should serve as a warning about the dangers of wanting everything now and on our own terms.

There is an interesting and instructional phrase that occurs only four times in the Bible.  According to Ed Vallowe’s book, Biblical Mathematics, this number represents God’s creation and His creative works; that phrase is simply wait upon the Lord. Vallowe uses numerous scripture references to clearly illustrate how creation happened in sequences of four. All of material creation was completed by the fourth day (see Genesis 1:14-19), during the Genesis account of creation, the word “creature” is used four times (Genesis 1:20, 1:21, 1:24, and 2:19). Within Revelation 5:13, the pattern of four repeats itself twice: And every creature which is in heaven, and on the earth, and under the earth, and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, heard I saying, Blessing, and honour, and glory, and power, be unto him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb for ever and ever (Revelation 5:13). All creatures (1) in heaven, (2) on the earth, (3) under the earth, and (4) in the seas will offer God worship that includes (1) blessing, (2) honor, (3) glory, and (4) power.  To me, this simply highlights the importance of any phrase used in the Bible four times – and makes me wonder what creative works God will do for us when we face challenges if we will just wait on the Lord!

I will be the first to admit that I have made many decisions based on spur of the moment influences that have often ended in absolute failure.  As I previously mentioned, not wanting to live in the barracks any longer and sincerely wanting my parents to see that I was capable of making adult decisions, I married a woman who not only I did not love, but had little in common with simply because I didn’t want to wait.  I married a second time, not out of the right reasons, not out of feeling that God had brought that person in my life, but simply because I was tired of living alone.  Again, in my desire to have it all “now,” I never gave God a chance to do His creative work in my life and because of not willing to wait upon the Lord, I denied Him the opportunity to do a work in my life.  I think of how frustrated I get with my daughter when she will not let me help her do things that are still difficult for her age and stage of development and wonder if God feels that level of frustration towards me.

The first time that phrase is found is in the book of Psalms: For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth (Psalms 37:9). As Christians, most of us do not want to be thought of as “evil doers,” yet this scripture clearly teaches we have two choices – either we wait on the Lord or we are evildoers.  There’s no middle ground or compromise. No, we will not lose our salvation if we do not wait on the Lord but we will lose our blessings and rewards.  We will miss out on being in a place to see God’s handiwork in our lives and to give Him the glory, honor, and praise for His mighty works.  The second time the phrase is found was also written by the psalmist David: Behold, as the eyes of servants look unto the hand of their masters, and as the eyes of a maiden unto the hand of her mistress; so our eyes wait upon the LORD our God, until that he have mercy upon us (Psalms 123:2). Here, David is comparing the desire to wait upon the Lord as the examples he gave look towards their superior for guidance.  A servant always waits for the instruction their master, an employee always works under the direction of their employer, and with like devotion, we should wait for the direction and supervision of the Lord before we proceed.

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Using the Bible as a true mirror

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One of the important milestones in our faith is when we begin to see ourselves as the Lord Jesus Christ sees ourselves.  Back when I was living in Louisiana, an old Baptist preacher by the name of Clarence Welch told me and another young man who was working in his garden that if we ever wanted to get a good look at our faith we could only do so through the mirror of the Bible.  At the time, I was 36 years old and was going through a personal crisis.  I had just been medically discharged from the U.S. Army for injuries that I had sustained. Then, without the comfort and security of a steady income and active duty military benefits, the woman I was married to left me and returned to her hometown where she moved in with her old high school sweetheart.  I was mad – mad at myself, mad at her, mad at those around me, mad at God – genuinely mad.

I wanted to share that because yesterday, my best friend called me and told me that on Friday of last week, as he was heading home, he decided to empty his heart’s contents to God.  He had reached a point in his life where he was desiring a closer relationship with God and from what he described to me, tired of the trapped feeling that unresolved anger can have in our lives.  What he had done, as I had done for so long, was to internalize and bury the unresolved anger and tried to build on top of that foundation. Can we get saved with unresolved anger in our hearts?  The answer to that is simply yes.  Can we spiritually grow with that unresolved anger in our hearts?  The answer to that is also yes; however we will reach a certain point where spiritual growth cannot occur unless we resolve the anger.  There is a reason why – anger occurs when we believe we have been wronged or harmed and we feel that the other party has not atoned for the transgression.  At the heart of the issue is forgiveness and our willingness to allow God to heal our wounds.

Forgiveness is important for the believer for many reasons and if we are not careful, we can actually carry anger with us for so long that we become accustomed to its bondage.  We excuse our anger and have a tendency to see it as justifiable; unfortunately, God does not see it that way.  During Jesus’ earthly ministry, he taught all that would listen, For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses (Matthew 6:14-15). When we harbor our anger we place ourselves under the same judgment, but from God, that we are placing on the object of our anger.  We have effectively blocked God from being in a position to help us and to bless us.  We cannot continue our spiritual growth until we have let go of the anger that holds us back. In fact, the gospel written by the apostle Mark records Jesus teaching those that followed him, And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses (Mark 11:25). Notice that when you pray…forgive, if you have ought against any. There’s no conditions, there’s no justification, there’s no reservations recorded in this verse.  Jesus’ teaching is clear – forgive.

As recorded in the gospel of Matthew, there is a parable that Jesus uses to teach this very concept.  The parable is about a man who receives forgiveness for a debt that he owed another.  The parable ends with this passage: Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?  And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses (Matthew 18:32-35). This is a difficult lesson to allow to sink in – the forgiveness of God is complete; the forgiveness we offer others must reflect the forgiveness that He freely offers us.  It is not optional, it is not a nice request, it is something we must do if we are going to enjoy the fullness of our Christian faith.

The Bible is our mirror and our measuring rod; when we begin to see our lives through the mirror of the Bible, we do not get the distortions that we do when we look at our lives through the lens of the world.  When we look through the lens of this world, it becomes easy to justify our anger and our judgment of others. It becomes easy to hold on to that anger. The world even tells us that we are justified to hold on to our anger and judgment of others.  God tells us that our anger at others must be dealt with; the perceived wrong must be forgiven completely.  Once we have forgiven them, we must leave our anger in the past and pray for the person that wronged us.  By doing so, not only do we free ourselves up from the anger and judgment within our hearts, we allow ourselves to be brought into God’s perfect peace and we really begin to spiritually grow and enjoy the richness of the forgiveness of God.

Being honest in our prayers to God

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Yesterday I had the opportunity to sit outside on one of the concrete tables near the building where I teach my history classes.  It was a nice, cool, and sunny day and the feel of the sun was something that I have really missed over the winter months.  I pulled out my pocket-sized Bible and began reading through Psalms when I had a student approach me to ask me some questions about a recent assignment.  When she saw that I was reading the Bible, she began to ask me questions about my faith, how I “fit it in” my life, and some other questions.  I explained to her that I do not define my faith; my faith defines me, she immediately began to ask questions about my understanding about prayer.

Since 2006, I have become more serious about my faith in God.  I also began to take literally the things that I read in the Bible so that I will not have to stand ashamed of my life in front of an Holy God. When she asked me that question, the first verse that came into my mind was: But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear (I Peter 3:15). Although the apostle Peter was referring to the times when Christians will be brought before kings and judges to explain their holding to the faith in Jesus Christ, I believe that this verse has an application that we are always, as Christians, to be ready to explain any aspect of our faith to those that genuinely ask for understanding.  In this case, this student was asking about my understanding of prayer; as a Christian, I owed her the explanation of my understanding.

I began (as I will begin here) to explain that God does not hear every prayer but only hears the prayers of those who have, through faith, been redeemed. While the world holds on to the erroneous belief that God hears all prayers, this is not the case, as taught by Solomon as he was led by the Spirit of God to write: The LORD is far from the wicked: but he heareth the prayer of the righteous (Proverbs 15:29).  Even the Old Testament prophet Jeremiah understood that God will not hear the prayers of the wicked and unredeemed: Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will bring evil upon them, which they shall not be able to escape; and though they shall cry unto me, I will not hearken unto them (Jeremiah 11:11) The first prayer that God hears from anyone (except the Lord Jesus Christ when he was on Earth) is the prayer of repentance.  The apostle Paul understood this: For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved (Romans 10:13) and That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved (Romans 10:9).

God does hear our prayers, but that we have to first understand the condition of our heart.  David, a man after God’s own heart, understood this as he was led by the Spirit of God to write, If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me (Psalms 66:18).  Another Old Testament prophet, Micah, explained why God would not hear the Jewish people, although they were his own chosen people: Then shall they cry unto the LORD, but he will not hear them: he will even hide his face from them at that time, as they have behaved themselves ill in their doings (Micah 3:4). This is not just an Old Testament principle that has no relevance to today’s New Testament believer; the apostle James explained to the Christians of his day why their prayers were appearing not to be answered: Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts (James 4:3). During Jesus’ earthly ministry, he also taught there was another reason why prayers to God seemingly go unanswered: And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive (Matthew 21:22).

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