Category Archives: Relationships

Blogs in this category deal with relationships between ourselves and God, family members, other Christians, and the lost.

False salvation – a warning because I’ve been there

Posted on September 1, 2016 by | Comments Off on False salvation – a warning because I’ve been there

false salvationFalse salvation can happen to anyone. The worst part of all, false salvation can leave a person asking if God is actually real. False salvation does not satisfy the soul but leaves it empty and longing for something to fill it. Yesterday evening, I was on the phone with one of my best friends, Ron. And during that call, he asked me about a recent Facebook post I had made over the weekend about becoming a Christian in 2006. He has known me since 2000 and was surprised to learn that I was not saved. 

False salvation can appear to others as being real

In my own personal story, in 1988 I was looking for answers. My father had moved in the middle of my senior year of high school. That summer, I entered into college and was searching for answers. I knew there was more to life and began to experiment in everything that life on the college campus had to offer. Many people who experience a false salvation have a similar experience. They are aware that there is more out there and search for it. Unfortunately, many real Christians, some are even ministers, have little understanding of how to show someone the way to finding the Jesus of the Bible.  

Within the gospel of John, there’s a key verse: Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me (John 14:6). When you’re searching for answers and when you know something is missing, it is easy to get caught up in an emotional experience. This is what happened to me. I was already searching, had someone share the gospel with me, then invited me to church. Once in church, I walked down the aisle, knowing in my heart that something was missing. I was simply responding because I knew it was what I was supposed to do. I prayed a certain prayer at the altar with another man of the church – because I was supposed to do it. Later, at the evening service, I was baptized but felt no different on the inside then I had before.

False salvation rejects the discipleship of the Bible

There’s a verse in the gospel of John that goes along with one of the things I had to learn the hard way. But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you (John 14:26). When a person has a false profession of faith, no matter how much preaching they hear, no matter how much Bible reading they do, or regardless of how many services they attend, a person who is not saved will never have spiritual growth. Think of it this way, one cannot fill a flower-pot with dirt and expect a plant to grow if there has never been a seed planted.

The writings of Paul discusses the inner spiritual battle Christians have. For the believer, the battle between the sinful nature of mankind and the desire to live as Jesus has called us to do is a real, constant one. For someone who has a false salvation, there is no such battle. There’s the battle of knowing that something shouldn’t be done, but no real guilt afterwards. There may even be a justification along the lines of “God knows I am only human,” or “all Christians struggle with some sort of sin…” It is not a matter of how smart someone is or even if they know what being a Christian means. It is a heart matter. Until someone is truly ready to surrender their entire existence to Jesus, there cannot be any hope of salvation or redemption. Without redemption, there can be no spiritual growth.

False salvation and the fallacy of self-determination

The lost world has a fundamental misunderstanding of Christianity. Its understanding actually impacts how some who self-identify as Christian live their lives. There’s a song performed by Carrie Underwood called, “Jesus, Take the Wheel” that perfectly illustrates what anyone seeking genuine salvation has to do. There’s a couple of verses that comes to mind: Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able (Luke 13:24) and, And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart (Jeremiah 29:13).During His earthly ministry, Jesus was asked how someone could get into Heaven. The gospel of Matthew records Jesus’ response: Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind (Matthew 22:37).

These verses paint a very disturbing picture for someone who has a false salvation. They may have the head knowledge of who Jesus is but their heart remains affixed to this world. They are carnal in their lifestyle and/or in their thoughts. Before I was saved, I wanted to have both – the assurance of an eternal home in heaven and to be able to live my life according to my own terms. I didn’t know it then, but Paul had actually wrote about this very thing: Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness? (Romans 6:16). What I didn’t realize at the time was that I really didn’t have the control I thought I had over my life. I was a slave to sin. 

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Posted in Christian Doctrine, Our relationship with God

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Social creation of humankind

Posted on August 29, 2016 by | Comments Off on Social creation of humankind

socialFrom a psychological viewpoint every person is designed to be a social creature. God’s plan is for each person to share their lives with others. The Bible offers this: And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him (Genesis 2:8). This is especially relevant in understanding the basic psychology of what a social creature actually is. No one disputes that a dog by themselves do not enjoy life to its fullest and will appear down or depressed. Put that same dog with a human companion or even another animal companion, and immediately the dog’s attitude changes. Emotionally and mentally, the dog needs a companion to feel needed and complete. Humankind was wonderfully made by God to be the exact same way.

Parents: The early social influence of a child

I will be honest; if I were to rate my abilities as a parent I would give myself a failing grade for my first children who are now adults. For the child my wife and I had when I was 40, I would probably give myself a passing but needs improvement score. The difference is my relationship with the Lord. Instead of having a fleshly, and world focused view of life as I did before, I now have a Christ-centered world view. Therefore, the daughter I am raising now will, if the Lord is willing and blesses, not have to face the issues now faced by my adult children. Where before I was careless in what my children were exposed to, now I try to make sure my daughter are exposed to things that are beneficial to her. 

The apostle Paul was concerned about the spiritual health of those he ministered to during his missionary journeys. Just as in his world, we have the same basic things present that can add spiritual weight to our lives. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things (Philippians 4:8). This may seem like a strange verse to include in this particular study, but I assure you it will soon make sense.

God’s plan for parenting – crafting a social influence

During the Israel’s exodus from Egypt, God gave a commandment directly to those who are responsible for the raising and teaching of children: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up (Deuteronomy 6:7). There is a lot of responsibility God has placed on parents. Not only do I have the obligation to teach my children the things of the Lord, but I also have the obligation to teach them the things of life. And one of those things is the wisdom of the apostle Paul: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14).

With these two verses together, parents have the responsibility to make sure that the friendships our children have are ones that will lift them to the Lord. It may mean that the child next door, who yours wants to hang around, is not the best friend for your child. We’ve got a young girl in our apartment complex who I limit (if not avoid) her having contact with my daughter. She’s in the second grade and will often wander to behind our townhouse. At first, she seemed like a nice child until I heard her using profane language and encouraging the other children to “use adult words.” I am 46 years old and was in the army for almost seven years; I still do not feel comfortable even hearing those words said in movies, much less say them myself! To hear a nine-year-old use them was a shock!

Being social: choosing who influences us matters too!

I am reminded of Psalms 34:13, Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile. When I was fresh out of the army, I did have a profanity problem. In 2006, after receiving Jesus Christ as my personal Savior, I decided that my surrender to Him would be complete. This morning, while listening to the Dave Ramsey Show, guest host Chris Hogan said something pretty profound. He said, “When you’re giving something up, when it is a sacrifice, don’t count what you are giving up. Count what you are gaining.” In the process of my complete surrender, the Lord has laid it on my heart to get rid of things.

Paul wrote, Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty (2 Corinthians 6:17-18). For me, this meant getting rid of some of my DVDs, CDs, science-fiction books, and even some friendships. David had adopted a new attitude and wrote, I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me (Psalms 101:3). For me, God expanded the meaning of this verse in my heart; if I were going to live the life that God has called me to do then I cannot be a participant in things that tie me to temptation or sin.

Continued on the next page.

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Posted in Chrisitian Philosophy, Relationships, Standards

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Taking the time to pray

Posted on August 9, 2016 by | Comments Off on Taking the time to pray

time to prayHow long ago was it when you set aside a part of your day, some of your time to pray? I’m not referring to prayers we say at mealtime or bed time, but time spent with our Lord when we intentionally share the things that we are concerned about. Time spent praising Him for His wonderful grace given to us or even just sharing time with Him with the things on your heart. I remember from an undergraduate psychology class that it takes nearly eighty hours of personal contact between two people to develop a close and meaningful friendship. Since then, I’ve come to believe that this also applies to our relationship with the Lord also.

Going to church can’t replace personal prayer time

As important as regular church attendance is for Christians, it cannot replace our personal time in prayer to the Lord. Jesus taught on this very subject: And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly (Matthew 6:5-6). Jesus was teaching that our prayers, where we are getting personal and completely honest, are not to be done in the synagogue – or the church. They belong between us and the Lord.

We all have experienced the occasional person who has been called on by the pastor to pray at church. What should be a prayer of thanksgiving or an invocation prayer can become a sermon within itself. These were the prayers Jesus is referring to as the Bible recorded His words, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men… There’s a verse within Proverbs that fits well into how many of us view those who pray with a lack of sincerity in public: Whoso boasteth himself of a false gift is like clouds and wind without rain (Proverbs 25:14). 

Time in prayer is spending personal time with the Lord.

In some of the churches I’ve attended, there’s been a special time set aside during the mid-week service where the members gather to lift their voices in prayer. As great as that was, and as much as the presence of the Lord could be felt there that evening, it still did not replace the personal time in prayer we are to have with the Lord alone. There’s a big difference between praying with others versus being alone with the Lord in prayer. Jesus taught during his earthly ministry, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret… a call for us to spend personal time in prayer – alone with our Lord only!

When we pray with others, even with our family or best friend, we tend to pray only what we want them to know. It’s a part of the natural man to gloss over the things we don’t want others to know about us. It is natural to leave sin unconfessed, to leave needs unspoken. When we are alone and pray to the Lord, we are more open and honest. We have a tendency to pray and seek forgiveness for sins more freely. When it is just us and the Lord, we share our needs more openly and honestly. In my own life, there is a big difference when I pray alone with my Saviour than when I am praying with others from church or even with my own family.  I have to make the time to pray to my Lord  each day.

Prayer is like any other meaningful event in life

When it comes to the things that have special meaning in our lives we spend time practicing. I know people who spend time preparing their bodies for the next marathon. Each day, I try to schedule time to practice my cornet. There are some in our church that spend time practicing their crochet and knitting so they do not lose those skills. Athletes practice the skills necessary to play their sports. The thing is if we want to get better at something, then we continually practice. We can do the same thing with prayer. Paul tells us to Pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17) – and pray for everything! 

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Posted in Christian Living, My Walk, Our relationship with God

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