For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing (II Timothy 4:6-8).
In the last installment of Living a life that reflect’s God’s plan, we looked at how God must have top priority in our life. He is our creator and redeemer. He is what brought us into existence and is there when we draw our last breath. Too many times every one of us has placed something in front of God; we may not have planned to do that but it does happen. The second most important relationship that Christians have is with their spouse if they are married; if unmarried, they are to seek after God and to focus on him and their earthly family.
The apostle Paul writes that if we are not married, we are not to seek to be married: Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you (I Corinthians 7:27-28). This is hard for many to accept, including myself. Those around us, such as our family and friends, encourage us to seek that special person; even family reunions stigmatize unmarried adults by putting them at the same table with all the children. Our movies and entertainment sends a clear message that unless we have that special someone, we are not complete. In my own life, I have rushed into relationships that were spiritually and physically unhealthy for the sake of having that “someone.” Our churches are filled with divorcees who rushed into marriage that they sought out rather than to wait for who God would bring.
In that same passage, Paul also tells us not to seek separation from our spouses if we are married. As I have mentioned in a previous post, I teach at a local community college and have been involved in higher education for the last nine years. Each semester I hear stories from the students in class about their marriages, divorces, and dating habits. Not counting those who have been victims of abuse, domestic violence, and infidelity, too many marriages are ending for the wrong reasons. About three years ago, I actually had a man in his late 20s tell me that he and his wife of four years were getting a divorce because he wanted a dog and she was allergic to animal dander! Older couples who have been married for twenty or more years also divorce; many claiming that they no longer know their spouse! These couples have managed to elevate something else – kids, jobs, dogs – in the place that God had ordained for their spouse.
Paul instructs both men and women, married and unmarried, young and old, that we all have roles to fulfil in order to strengthen the family and church. Older couples are to be the role model for younger couples; the older men teaching to the younger men what it means to be a father and husband, the older women teaching younger women what it means to be a wife and mother.
Since the early 20th Century, we have witnessed attacks on traditional marriage; most pointing out that the Bible calls for women to be submissive to their husbands. While the Bible does say this, those who complain about it never continue to read the passage where Paul instructs the husbands to love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it (Ephesians 5:25). Men are to love their wives to the extent they should be willing to die to defend and protect her. A godly, Bible based marriage is not one in which the husband dominates and rules over the wife, but one where both are co-equals, supporting one another, but where the man is held accountable to God.
