For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing (II Timothy 4:6-8).
In the previous installment of this series, the focus was primarily on how our spouses must be the second most important thing in our lives next to our personal relationship with God. I briefly mentioned that for those that are not married, that according to the apostle Paul, their focus should be on the immediate family and the needs of the church. It is important to include within this series a truth that’s not often preached upon but is much needed in the lives of those who are single, never married, divorced, or widowed: God still desires your service!
Within our churches, adults that have never married and those who go through divorce, regardless of the reasons, often find themselves without opportunities for service. As I went through my divorce, I found myself asked to step down from my role as song leader and Sunday school teacher. I was even told that regardless of the reasons for the divorce, my Christian service was finished. Nearly twenty years later, I have learned that it is simply not true. Paul wrote that those who are married are not to seek to end the marriage and in the same sentence he ties it to the idea that those who are divorced are not to seek to be remarried (I Corinthians 7:27-28). Instead of focusing on getting into another relationship, it is important to focus on our own healing and on serving God through the ministry of the church.
As did I, many Christians that go through a divorce find themselves feeling as if there are no places for us to serve within the local church. Although divorce is the reason that one has become “loosed” it is not what should define that person. It is the same with the single adult as well-intended and meaning friends (even members of the church) begin to wonder what is wrong with that person that has caused them to go unmarried; this also becomes an unneeded and unwarranted definition of single adulthood.
Our churches are full of adults that are single that have a sincere desire to serve God but with no opportunities to do so. As I have found from experience and as sung by many in churches there’s a work for all to do. Since adult singles do not have a spouse and may not have kids, their second priority is not their employment; their life’s second priority should be within their own families or to those within their local church. Paul spends a great deal of time in his letters teaching the churches in Asia Minor that older men and women should teach the younger how to be good husbands and wives; he also teaches that the church needs to care for the aged, the widow, the poor, and the orphan. Yes, a married person can do all those things, but as Paul wrote their focus should be on their spouse first (Titus 2:2-4; I Corinthians 7:34).
I stumbled upon this almost by accident when I went through my second divorce. What I learned is that there are needs in every church that can be met and have the added benefit of being therapeutic for those that do them. Take the time each week to mail a post card to the homebound of your church. Cook meals for those who are undergoing medical procedures, family difficulties, or homebound. Visit church members that are in the hospital or take a shut in into town to the grocery store and maybe a quick bite to eat at a local restaurant. Volunteer to watch the children of a single parent; offer to babysit the children of a young couple for an afternoon. The possibilities are endless, the need is great, and you will find yourself learning more about others and yourself than ever before.
Don’t forget the words of Jesus Christ on this very topic when he taught And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as you have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me (Matthew 25:40).
