From a psychological viewpoint every person is designed to be a social creature. God’s plan is for each person to share their lives with others. The Bible offers this: And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him (Genesis 2:8). This is especially relevant in understanding the basic psychology of what a social creature actually is. No one disputes that a dog by themselves do not enjoy life to its fullest and will appear down or depressed. Put that same dog with a human companion or even another animal companion, and immediately the dog’s attitude changes. Emotionally and mentally, the dog needs a companion to feel needed and complete. Humankind was wonderfully made by God to be the exact same way.

Parents: The early social influence of a child

I will be honest; if I were to rate my abilities as a parent I would give myself a failing grade for my first children who are now adults. For the child my wife and I had when I was 40, I would probably give myself a passing but needs improvement score. The difference is my relationship with the Lord. Instead of having a fleshly, and world focused view of life as I did before, I now have a Christ-centered world view. Therefore, the daughter I am raising now will, if the Lord is willing and blesses, not have to face the issues now faced by my adult children. Where before I was careless in what my children were exposed to, now I try to make sure my daughter are exposed to things that are beneficial to her. 

The apostle Paul was concerned about the spiritual health of those he ministered to during his missionary journeys. Just as in his world, we have the same basic things present that can add spiritual weight to our lives. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things (Philippians 4:8). This may seem like a strange verse to include in this particular study, but I assure you it will soon make sense.

God’s plan for parenting – crafting a social influence

During the Israel’s exodus from Egypt, God gave a commandment directly to those who are responsible for the raising and teaching of children: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up (Deuteronomy 6:7). There is a lot of responsibility God has placed on parents. Not only do I have the obligation to teach my children the things of the Lord, but I also have the obligation to teach them the things of life. And one of those things is the wisdom of the apostle Paul: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14).

With these two verses together, parents have the responsibility to make sure that the friendships our children have are ones that will lift them to the Lord. It may mean that the child next door, who yours wants to hang around, is not the best friend for your child. We’ve got a young girl in our apartment complex who I limit (if not avoid) her having contact with my daughter. She’s in the second grade and will often wander to behind our townhouse. At first, she seemed like a nice child until I heard her using profane language and encouraging the other children to “use adult words.” I am 46 years old and was in the army for almost seven years; I still do not feel comfortable even hearing those words said in movies, much less say them myself! To hear a nine-year-old use them was a shock!

Being social: choosing who influences us matters too!

I am reminded of Psalms 34:13, Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile. When I was fresh out of the army, I did have a profanity problem. In 2006, after receiving Jesus Christ as my personal Savior, I decided that my surrender to Him would be complete. This morning, while listening to the Dave Ramsey Show, guest host Chris Hogan said something pretty profound. He said, “When you’re giving something up, when it is a sacrifice, don’t count what you are giving up. Count what you are gaining.” In the process of my complete surrender, the Lord has laid it on my heart to get rid of things.

Paul wrote, Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty (2 Corinthians 6:17-18). For me, this meant getting rid of some of my DVDs, CDs, science-fiction books, and even some friendships. David had adopted a new attitude and wrote, I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me (Psalms 101:3). For me, God expanded the meaning of this verse in my heart; if I were going to live the life that God has called me to do then I cannot be a participant in things that tie me to temptation or sin.

Continued on the next page.